Think and Discuss: Hair Envy

This is a BIG problem with natural hair. As much as we promote loving yourself  and loving you hair the way it is,  how many times do we find ourselves looking at someone's hair and feeling bad about ours?? Looking at their curl pattern... looking at their length.. looking at their styles.. whatever it may be.

One of the worst human tendencies is jealousy and envy. 

When I was transitioning and first deciding to go natural I dealt with this terribly! My hair was so dry, so much shrinkage, so short, etc- that I would look online and get discouraged by other ladies. Instead of looking at those sources for help and encouragement, they made me more discouraged than anything else. Then when I got into the Apostolic church, I fought with the fact that my hair was so different to the other ladies. I cannot tell you how many ignorant and hurtful comments I have received about my hair. It made it even harder for me to appreciate what I have.

BUT I can honestly say that now- I have gotten over it. My hair is my hair. My curls are my curls. I cannot change my texture. I cannot change my hair color. I cannot change any of those things. But what I DID change was my attitude about it! The more honest I became with myself- Kendra you have frizzy hair. Revelation!! But true! So now I know I have frizzy hair and there are really fun and cool things about frizzy hair believe it or not :) I can wear BIG hair!!!

WORK with what you have! 

It is so important that we overcome these insecurities, jealous and envious feelings about one another. Instead of hanging your head low, start to find things about your hair that are awesome. Do you have a lot of shrinkage? I DO! But every time I wear my hair in a fro, I get so many compliments. You know why? Because its Kendra. All natural, the way God made me. My friend in picture below told me, "Girl if I had hair like that I would wear a fro every day! I wish my hair could do that!"

So you can decide to be upset about your hair, or you can work with it and begin to love it! I know its not easy when you are starting out.. trust me I KNOW! I had days I would just cry and put a hat on. But... why do that to yourself when it won't change anything?

But here are some things that helped me:

1. STOP looking at other naturals and wishing you hair their hair. If you can't handle looking at other blogs and websites, then just stop for a while and focus on what makes your hair beautiful
2. MAKE A LIST of all the good and bad things about your hair. Focus on what you consider good. And focus on having a positive attitude about the things that you don't think are good. 
3. HAVE FUN WITH YOUR HAIR. Try something new- step out of the box.

Remember, NO ONE has hair like you! 

Do you face this problem? If you faced it in the past how did you overcome it? What are some encouraging words that you can share with others. Please give your feedback!