Hello Mrs. Thaler, I am unable to leave a comment on your blog anymore. As soon as I select comment as 'open ID' the page updates and never allows me to comment. There have been so many blog posts I have wanted to leave a word of encouragement on but this is not possible. Maybe this is something you should look into? Now onto the subject at hand. Having read the responses of your interviewees it became obvious that American society has a deep rejection of all that is black, so to speak. The mass approval of weaves and fake hair were astonishing to me, especiallly from Apostolic women. Mind you, I do peruse other natural hair care blogs such as bglh, CN or urbanbushbabes. So, whenever someone espouses strange views I am not put off because these blogs are not written from a Christian perspective.  I could almost sense your exasperation and disappointment when a Christian sister trod the middle ground concerning such an important matter. You know, I have always hated relaxer. Throughout my life I went between unaltered and relaxed. I got my first relaxer at age 14. Then, in February 2009 I went through changes which compelled me to cut my hair, at the time I was compelled. Know better now. I just let my hair be. In July of the same year I started plaiting it and still hid it under fake hair. Braids and the like. I continued humdrum and it was hard realising that in the space of 2 years I had grown addicted to that fake hair. NO way could I conjure up the courage to wear my hair out 'like that'. I am black South African and we are more tolerant of kinky hair than America or Latin America. It is the mixed folk who are completely unforgiving of any sign of kinkiness amongst other mixed folk. I will not venture a treatise on South Africa's complicated racial segregation and classification history. Just know that the government classified you either white, coloured (mixed), Indian or black. Still, early 2011 I grew tired of the fake hair. God gave me the courage to just fluff out my hair one morning and wear it out to work in it's super coily glory. I was so NERVOUS. Well, compliments all around. Especially from folk of different ethnicities. Still, I did not know anything about natural hair or it's care. I would slap on some beeswax and hairfood that left my hair crispy yet pretty. Crispy but Pretty, say it with me!! I only started getting my hair plaited/threaded/cornrowed in May 2011 and it started growing. I have no idea how I came across natural hair websites but I could hardly believe my eyes. From the above, you could imagine that I am this fashion conscious woman, the opposite is true. I have always been a plain, simple dressing woman. I like weird clothes. Paisley print, swirly florally patterns, layering, headscarves, have not liked jewellery in years and look how much I struggled to let the mighty weave go. We are a trio of sisters and have always been somewhat 'different' in the way we dress or do things. Our parents did not raise us to be fashion conscious at all and this is okay with us. Unfortunately it sits ill with almost everyone else. The fact that dressing up and looking fabulous is not a priority for me. Only 2 other ladies, who also happen to be sisters, 'get' the way I dress or am. Even close friends have a hard time accepting that indeed, I love my sense of dressing and kinky hair. But, I let it be. Will not fight them or suggest they inspect themselves for obvious issues they are trying to cover up through certain externals. Whether dressing, adornment, habits or activities. I won't lie and say my flesh does not ever want to self protect and give them a piece of it's mind, lovingly, of course. *smile*. Such nonsense, I know.  You see Kendra, by God's grace, your eyes have been opened to the fact that you were Enslaved to so much. You cringe when you think back to all those times you 'beautified' yourself with plastic hair and make up and all the other stuff. And it's more infuriating and disgusting than hurts because we were so blind. In prison not even realising it. Thinking that we are just so lovely. When have green eyelids ever been beautiful except on a chameleon? And because of what Jesus Christ has and is doing in your life, freedom is reigning. You better appreciate that man, Ma'am, because a lot of your guts and release from the bondage of vanity come from a husband who loves natural beauty. Why do you think a lot of women in general are so defensive when it comes to being unadorned? It is because of their unkind realities: Their fathers only love the lightest, sexiest, trashy, fake haired women. As musch as they married their sweeter mothers, it was a 'downgrade'. Ther reason Shania or Sphiwe or Sandra or Sonita knows it was a downgrade is because they watch their daddy's eyes. All they have ever followed are those very types of women we want to be today. Oh, their husbands only ever spoke to them when sporting a weave, tight jeans or looking 'hot'. Those times they just tried to be unembellieshed women, no one saw them or spoke to them. I can stand it because I only ever got compliments from my dad when I was dressed in long skirts and my hair was unrelaxed. He did this to all his daughters. Says he can see our eyes and we are 'so beautiful'. It is all these unspoken and never verbalized issues that completely dominate our lives. The fear of letting them go is intense too. Why would I? There are real repercussions for our 'freedom'. Being ignored, unseen and unpursued. Not every woman looks the same. Being natural is easier when your texture is a certain way or your genes are attention grabbing. Only trained eyes can discern and see a plain, non-attention hungry, kinky haired, under-dog loving woman as beautiful. And how many people have those eyes Kendra? Be it in the Spirit or in the physical. Just look at the girls whom everyone fusses over in the Church.... I remember a day when I wanted to go get my hair plaited, a bit tired of the fro', my manager heard me say this and he said ' Why would you want to get your hair done when it is so stylish?' Shook his head. He is of a different ethnicity. Here and there men of my own ethnicity have said they love my hair. Never the women. Ever. And the biggest revelation I got as to why it is easier to wear plastic hair as well as be non-black as possible in the States happened to me last year. I was visiting family and was in the States for the first time. Closer to my departure date I was of the mind to go re-do my hair which had been in unique, pretty braids for 3 weeks. Well, my host family drove me to the salon that the mom had tracked down the day previous in order to have my hair cornrowed. There were three women in that salon, one a client getting a relaxer and the other two staff members. I had washed and fro'd out my hair that morning. I was laughed at by the manager, the client gave me the filthiest look I have ever been given (now I know that it is called a side-eye) and the other girl just quietly went about relaxing her client's hair. I had never experienced that in my life and could not bring myself to write down my name in the appointment book. I calmly said, ' ma'am I can see that you are laughing at my hair and so will not be doing my hair in this place. Have yourself a good day". She had a smirk across her face and said ' You too have a good day'. We went back home, all 8 or 9 of us girls and my family were horrified. I had brothers in law apologising to me in the evening when they returned from work. My host mom said "good thing out of this is that you get to keep that beautiful hair". All my sisters came over, shocked at what had happened. I could not delve too much into why my fellow black women had done this to a family of naturally platinum blonde, blue eyed folk. It is almost a year ago that this happened and it only started hurting in January. No, it is not that I am sitting down in that place. I know why it happened and Jesus Christ in me is mighty to save. Tell me, how many women have had experiences like this but have never and cannot recover from? Some came from their mom or husband or sister or pastor. I came home and spoke about it, the greatest heartbreak being the lostness of those three women. I thought about their families and their kids and how terribly hard life must be for them. Yes, it hurt to be laughed at but it will stop hurting some day. If you are at war with your skin tone or your coily hair, how on earth can you be at peace with anyone? With anything?
I see how it hurts you to almost be fighting alone. To have like minded sisters who cannot accept one of the most fundamental things about themselves. As I said, I believe that it is when we do a total life ingestion of the Word that a lot of freedom comes. You are freed even when you do not realise you were bound. I say keep on keeping on. It will drop in others in due time. Beauty as the world embraces is hard to give up. That's why it is sooo rare to find an exceptionally beautiful woman in Christ who is aware of her beauty and yet NEVER uses it as a weapon. Keep faithful dear sister. I am sure you too have had those people come come up to you and say how they wish...or ask you if you are a Christian...or ask you why are you so different...The Lord knows what he is doing. I must still send you some picures as per your request all those months ago. Your sister in Christ, Iyana ______________________________________________________________________
What do you all think about what Lyana had to say? I think it was very powerful and moving. She gives a great insight as to African-American women specifically.. Could it be said that was have a "complex" about our own hair? I think YES. Absolutely. Thank God for women who are willing to embrace, love and share the beauty of their natural hair. Please leave comments below with your thoughts. |
|
|
.JPG)
No comments :
Post a Comment